Friends, Mopes, Philistines,

Welcome to the 139th NFL Pick ‘Em Spectacular! As you may know, this tradition started somewhere between 4 and 5 years ago as a way to breathe new life into the marathon that is the NFL regular season ( during a rare Ravens down year ) while avoiding the soul-crushing perils of Fallacy Football.

In that time, the Pick ‘Em Spectacular has undergone a number of changes. We’ve embraced powerful new technologies and abandoned them. We’ve made new friends, and lost them. We’ve evolved from a flawed kleptocracy into a failed dictatorship, then a charmingly naive noocracy before returning to our roots last year as an autocratic state, begging to be overthrown. To that end, after much deliberation, we’ve installed a glorious Triumvirate to guide this year’s Pick ‘Em Spectacular to unprecedented heights.

That, dear friends, is change you can believe in.

At the same time, some time-worn traditions must be upheld. As such, the format will remain largely unchanged. Here is the 139th NFL Pick ‘Em Spectacular Constitution, v3.0 as ratified by the Triumvirate at the Illadelphia Convention last month:

1. Pick ‘Em means Pick ‘Em. The Triumvirate doesn’t want to hear about point spreads, 100 yard rushers, or extra point stats. Think the Ravens are going to beat the Bengals in Week 1? Pick ‘em.
2. Everyone must Pick ten games a week ( as chosen by the Triumvirate at the beginning of each week ), ranked 1-10 in terms of confidence. Think it’s a LOCK that the Ravens are going to beat the Bengals? Pick ‘Em for 10.
3. The exceedingly rare Perfect Week pays $25.
4. Cost of entry this year is $60, sent ASAP to 2454 Chestnut St, APT 4, San Francisco, CA 94123, home of Brennan Adams, Esq.
5. Picks must be posted to the Official Blog of the 139th NFL Pick ‘Em Spectacular* prior to kickoff. Preferred formats include Haiku, Rewritten Indie Rock Song,
Wing Dings, and Spanish.
6. Picks twisted by the Anonymous Pick Twister are part of life.
7. Every year, 20% of the Pick Em member roster must become unemployed, or under employed during the NFL regular season.**
8. The Triumvirate reserves the right to add to or amend this Constitution, as necessary.

Good luck this year, friends. Remember, much like Harvard Business School, by making it this far, you’ve already won.

- The APT

*The Official Blog of the 139th NFL Pick ‘Em Spectacular is already seeing heavy traffic. Please bookmark the following website, as it represents a sea change in the professionalism and transparency of the Pool. This blog’s importance in your lives over the coming months cannot be overstated:
http://pickem139.wordpress.com/

**In a show of commitment, this requirement has already been exceeded.