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In what has become a dispiriting, much-transmogrified annual tradition, Ravens fans ‘cross the world gathered in wood-paneled basements, trailer parks, curiously narrow row houses with white marble stairs, and, of course, at Mad Rivere, to mourn the dirty birds’ first loss of the season.
Moments after the shocking 23-20 defeat at the hands of the effete Pittsburgh Steelers, car keys from Aberdeen to B’lair were plunged in the yawning underbellies of the customary thin aluminum cans of Natty Boh. Pudgy fingers groped awkwardly for the trigger to ingite a city-wide catharsis of hops and sadness.
Boh Knows Baltimore Football
“I really thought dey was gon’ win em all dis year,” said everyone who has ever called into WNST to squawk unintelligle football analysis over public airwaves.
Next year, dear friends. Next year.
As an aside, there’s been a groundswell of support for a San Francisco-based Mutant Weekend. Taking full advantage of this weekend’s free Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival and Dan McGill’s hideously overpriced NFL Sunday Ticket, expect more exciting details to come shortly.
On to Week 5:
Tenn at Baltimore
Indy at Houston
Seattle at Giants
SD at Miami
Wash at Philly
TB at Denver
Buffalo at Arizona
NE at San Francisco
Pit at Jax
Monday Night Football:
Min at NO
B’lair, Maryland
The Council of Ravens Roosts, in conjunction with the National Football League, has announced that the clash between Joe Flacco’s indomitable Baltimore Ravens and the Houston Residents of Texas has been moved from Sunday to Monday night at 5:30 PST.
The official reason for the unprecedented scheduling change is listed as “overwhelming national demand to see the Ravens.”
"Take that, insufficient local coverage..."
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