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Bodymore, Murdaland
The promising career of Kyle Boller was put on hold once again this morning with the news he’s been placed on Injured Reserve for the 2008 season. Luckily, the Ravens were able to extend his contract prior to the injury, guaranteeing that the 5th year man will remain the Ravens quarterback of the future for at least 6 more months.
Cagey Cam ‘Cam’ Cameron had spoken in glowing terms about the Cal graduate, describing his play this summer as “cautious, wary, and shrewd.”
So it goes.
Boller’s Boleros, a local Ravens Roost formed by Kyle’s parents to drum up support for their son during the maturation process who is still in search of its first non-familial member, declined to comment, but did note that “at least Kyle’s no longer dating Tara Reid”. They also concede that their chosen nickname was ill-conceived and are open to suggestions.
The APT suggests Ray’s Rice Rockets.
In one of the most high profile moves of the off-season, Cam Cameron was promoted from Head Coach of the Miami Pastels to Offensive Coordinator of the historically dominant Baltimore Ravens. Now that the season is kicking off, the man who has been described by ESPN as crafty, cagey, and canny is set to lead the vaunted Raven attack.
Cam’s caginess has never been more apparent than when we recently met at Nacho Mama’s to talk about the upcoming season. On the move north to the football mecca inside 695, Cam said, “In this business you have to do what’s best for your family. I couldn’t bear the thought of my young son growing up wearing teal.” When asked why he chose the purple-clad Ravens, Cam stared blankly before moving on to the next topic.
Cam is shown here teaching former QB of the future Kyle Boller how to be more cagey in the pocket as an unenlightened running back looks on in awe.
Cam is of course famous for grooming star quarterbacks. The list is seemingly endless: Drew Brees, Phillip Rivers, Cleo Lemon, Sage Rosenfels, John Beck. On the Ravens’ QB triumvirate, Cam said, “Ever since I took this job, my motto has been ‘you do what Ray Lewis tells you to do.’ That’s why I like Troy Smith.” He added, “It’s a pretty formidable roster when you have two former quarterbacks of the future and one current quarterback of the future. In next year’s draft we’re targeting at least one more quarterback of the future, but that’s as much as I can divulge about it right now.”
Cam succeeds a long list of talented offensive schemers in Baltimore featuring names such as Matt Billick, Jim Billick and Brian Billick in just the past nine years. In a closing note Cam told me the one thing he’ll take from past regimes is superior game management. He points out that calling numerous timeouts in the third quarter is, contrary to pedestrian thinking, a good strategy. We’re hoping to see many more punts on 4th and inches this year as well. Crab cake and football faithful, meet Cam “Cam” Cameron.
-Bernan
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