Triumvirate Convenes in Illadelphia, Sort Of

Wikipedia reports that the Triumvirate will be convening in Illdelphia, PA this weekend to hammer out the 139 NFL Pick ‘Em Spectacular Constitution, v3.0. It’s worth noting that one particularly limp-wristed member of the Triumvirate, shown below sporting his traditional shit-eating grin and stuffed antlers, will be telecommuting to the Illadelphia Convention, and thus his influence will be severely compromised, much like his manhood.

Artist's Rendering of the framing of the 139th NFL Pick 'Em Spectacular Constitution v3.0

Stay tuned to this space for more details on this historic event.

‘What’s that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke?!’

As a follow up to yesterday’s comparison between the 2008 Ravens and the 1995 Owings Mills Recreational Parks Club lacrosse team, a number of you emailed me with an interesting question. I don’t have time to respond individually to each of your long letters, but I do want to put the question out there for the rest of my readers:

Who would you rather not see in a dark alley, c. 1996 – Ray Lewis or our very own Baumer?

Clearly, these are two forces to be reckoned with, but a quick breakdown reveals some interesting similarities…

Ray: Incredible physical specimen, 2X FL State Champion Wrestler, Possibly Murderous Future:

"I did not stab or kill anyone."

Baumer: Slighty taller than an average person, 2X Shedder of Actual Tears at the MD State Tournament, had a “Born To Kill” sticker on his first Bacharach helmet:

"I think I was trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir!"

I know who I’d pick…what about you?