The 139th NFL Pick ‘Em Spectacular carries on a short, and undistinguished tradition of mediocrity. With a constantly shifting cast of unknown, unpaying mopes, the only thing less impressive than the pool’s roster is its leadership.

The Commissioner at work

To that end, the pool has moved away from years of controversial dictatorship to a triumvirate consisting of two penniless dreamers and one joyless pragmatist. Only time, and a series of rewritten indie-rock songs, will tell how successful this new venture will be.