So, turns out Eastern Motors won’t let me buy a car. Apparently, I failed the credit application process. To be fair, said process was really just a rather elementary expression of the transitive property, albeit one with dispiriting implications for this car-wanting mope.
If: At Eastern Motors, Your Job’s Your Credit, and ( Your Job ) = X, ( Your Credit ) = Y.
Then: X = Y.
Solving the equaition for Y with X = 0…( rumbling sounds, pots clanging, the hiss of steam from a teapot )… my salesman revealed that Y = 0 and thus I could not have an Escalade with 26s.
So, I stole a Penske Truck instead which has become both my main source of income as well as my main place of residence. Cue up T-Pain…
Week 12 Games after the jump…
Thursday Night:
Cincy at Pitt
Week 12
NY Jets at Tenn
Buffalo at KC
NE at Miami
Minnesota at Jax
Illy at B-More
Carolina at Atlanta
Houston at Cleveland
Indy at Whale’s Vagina
Monday Night Football
Green Bay at NO
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November 19, 2008 at 11:39 am
Heritage
Pitt – 10
NY Jets – 1
Buffalo – 5
NE – 9
Minnesota – 2
B-More – 3
Atlanta – 4
Cleveland – 6
Indy – 7
Green Bay – 8
November 19, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Dolemite Jenkins
Pit 10
Here’s some more Eastern Motors math:
If Gints – Jacobs + 2000 miles to Arizona = L, then Jacobs = New Ford + Honda + Chevy + Beemer + Minivan every 2000 miles x 100% debt
November 19, 2008 at 6:25 pm
G
Pitt 10
November 20, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Samantha Lane
Pitt 10
NY Jets 1
KC 2
Miami 4
Jax 5
B-More 3
Carolina 6
Cleveland 7
Indy 9
Green Bay 8
November 20, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Dix
Steelers – 10
Titans – 4
Chiefs – 2
Pats – 7
Vikings – 1
Ravens – 8
Falcons – 3
Browns – 6
Colts – 5
Pack – 9
November 20, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Mr leone
I’ll bet my Geo metro against your candy ass that dem stillers beat ta tar out the bungles. Fitzy is gonna be in b school next year with the rest of his laid-off classmates…
Note- a geo metro is worth approximately 10 whatevers.
November 20, 2008 at 5:15 pm
michael d
Pitt 5
Tenn 6
Buffalo 1
Miami 7
Minn 8
B-More 2
Atlanta 9
Houston 10
Indy 4
NO 3
November 20, 2008 at 5:33 pm
the guv
In a bold display of originality…
Bungles for 2
(and a 12 pt lead on all your asses going into this week. yeah.)
(wait, I’m not sure that makes sense. nonetheless.)
November 20, 2008 at 5:45 pm
Ricky Ross
Steelers (10)
November 20, 2008 at 5:45 pm
Dolemite Jenkins
Guv,
It does make sense to Dolemite. 12 points = lower rate on your new wheels. Thanks for breaking the trend of everyone putting 10 on the Stillers. The football gods will probably reward that in some way, but likely not tonight. But, if you combine your good deed with the horrendous karma surrounding Hines Ward, I would suspect something awful might happen to the Steelers. For that many of us will be grateful.
November 20, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Janky Spanky
It is looking like -2 pts to start the week will not be enough credit for my new ride. Luckily I got that job to fall ba… fuck. Regardless, I will remain a contrarian, Eastern Motors be damned.
p.s. Youl comment no make Hine Wald smirre.
November 21, 2008 at 12:48 am
Mr Leone
Despite the 17 XXXL Stillers jerseys hanging in my closet, I, too, was considerin’ takin’ the Bungles for a pussy-footin’ 2, jus to piss in to tha wind a bit, you know? But, I figured ‘at was essentially a pick for the Stillers. The only pick on Cincy that made NE sense 2 me was a 10pter.
But then my head started hurtin’, because the only thing that makes less sense than 2 on the Bungles was 10 on them, since they weren’t gonna win NEway.
And if I’ve learned anything in my time from Baumer its ‘at, if you’re losin’, pick the same team everyone else picks, and for the exact same amount of points. They’ll never see you coming that way.
November 21, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Dolemite Jenkins
In football pick’em, most mopes don’t get it
Kansas City Chiefs, I will regret it
Pats, Titans, Panthers, Eagles . . . and Texi-cans
Over 600 points last year . . . are you listenin’ man?
Let the pick’em leader, get some points Sunday
Let the pick’em leader, finance it all the way
Pit 10
Ten 3
KC 1
NE 9
Jac 7
Phi 2
Car 8
Hou 5
Ind 6
NO 4
November 21, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Leroy Jenkins
Ugh, Dad, when you’re done screwing around with the computer, can I have it back please? We’ve got a pretty good plan this time around…33.233% (repeating, of course ) percentage of survival.
That’s a lot better than we usually do.
November 22, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Ricky Ross
Steelers (10)
Carolina (9)
Ravens (8)
Packers (7)
Bills (6)
Colts (5)
Jets (4)
Patriots (3)
Texans (2)
Jaguars (1)
November 23, 2008 at 9:02 am
Ricky Ross
The real deal…
Steelers (10)
Carolina (9)
Ravens (8)
Colts (7)
Bills (6)
Packers (5)
Patriots (4)
Jets (3)
Texans (2)
Jaguars (1)
November 23, 2008 at 10:07 am
your mom
Pitt 1 (no brainer, but late)
NE 2
Carolina 3
Jax 4
Indy 5
Cleveland 6
NO 7
B-More 8
Buffalo 9
Tenn 10
November 23, 2008 at 10:31 am
Mario Incandenza
Pitt 10
Tenn 5
KC for 1
NE 6
Jax 7
B-More 9
Atlanta 4
Cleveland 3
Whale’s Vagina 8
Green Bay 2
November 23, 2008 at 10:44 am
G
NY Jets 2
Buffalo 5
NE 6
Minnesota 3
Illy 1
Atlanta 9 (my first time picking for Atlanta… they better not burn me like they have all season picking against them)
Cleveland 8
Whale’s Vagina 4
Green Bay 7
November 23, 2008 at 2:39 pm
the guv
OK, bit of a mistake there, sleeping through the start of the early games, then heading straight to the bar. In an attempt to salvage a few points….
Indy – 9
NO – 10